Fathers’ Involvement in Childcare: Is Changing Diapers the New Normal?

Recently, I came across a post on Instagram that showed a graph of fathers changing diapers from the 1970s till 2025. This was very intriguing, and I felt that ‘Fathers involvement in childcare’ is a topic that would allow me to write an appreciation blog for my husband as well as for fathers who are now setting a new normal.

Introduction

Earlier, it was considered only a mother’s duty to take care of a child. According to the graph I saw, 48% of fathers admitted that they had never changed a diaper in the 1970s. Today, that number has dropped to just 3%, which is a significant and positive change.

We are also much more aware of what science has to say, especially since most information is now easily available on platforms like Instagram. According to research, when fathers spend quality time with their children, those children are 43% more likely to earn A’s in school and 33% less likely to repeat a grade compared to children without engaged fathers (I have added the reference link at the end of this blog).

I have personally seen my son’s progress in learning new things when he spends time with his dad. On the other hand, I have also observed children showing lower levels of learning ability when fathers involvement in childcare like not playing an active role in engaging with their children—whether it is playing, bathing, or changing nappies.

Need to Write This Blog

As mentioned earlier, I am writing this blog primarily as an appreciation post for my husband and for fathers who actively take part in the upbringing of their children. Another reason is to highlight, especially for fathers who are not actively involved, how important their role is in a child’s life.

As always, I will share my personal story. I will also mention another real-life scenario to help you understand how crucial both parents’ active involvement is in the upbringing and nurturing of a child.

My Story

This section is going to be full of appreciation for my husband. And if the mothers reading this can relate, I truly hope you share this with your husband as well.

My husband has been changing our son’s diapers since the very first day he saw him. It came naturally to him—no one had to tell him to do it. From the very beginning, he showed interest in everything related to our son.

The only thing he couldn’t do was breastfeed, which is quite obvious. But during the time I breastfed our baby, he supported me in many soothing ways—giving me back rubs, getting me water, or bringing snacks because I would often feel thirsty and hungry during feeding sessions.

When we started solids, he was the one who made our son’s first meal. Everything we did for our child was done in partnership—meal planning, food preparation, bathing him, and much more. This made my journey of motherhood much easier. Due to my husband’s support, I felt less overwhelmed, more confident as a new mom, and emotionally supported.

How Fathers’ Involvement in childcare Supports Mothers

As I mentioned earlier, my husband’s support during breastfeeding sessions was extremely comforting for me. Similarly, a father’s involvement in childcare greatly impacts a mother’s emotional and physical well-being.

After childbirth, a woman goes through many challenges—stitch pain, breast pain due to breastfeeding, bleeding, hormonal changes, and more. When it is the first child, everything feels new and difficult. There are moments of exhaustion, confusion, and emotional overwhelm.

During such times, a husband’s support becomes essential. When fathers actively participate in childcare, mothers feel calmer, less stressed, and less lonely. Many mothers feel isolated when they sacrifice so much for their child without support. A supportive and involved partner can make a huge difference in a mother’s mental and emotional health.

What Happens When Fathers’ Involvement in Childcare Is Absent?

As discussed earlier, a father’s involvement has a strong impact on a child’s development. Here, I want to share a real-life incident that I have personally witnessed.

There was a family consisting of a father, mother, and son. From the very beginning, the father was not involved in childcare. The mother handled everything alone. She had no support from her in-laws either, as she was not favoured by them. The father remained focused only on earning money.

The mother never complained initially because she believed her husband was hardworking. However, he was emotionally absent and never accompanied his wife or son during illness or medical visits. The mother took the child for appointments on her own, often with very limited money. Sometimes, she had to walk or change multiple buses due to financial constraints.

Over time, frustration built up. Eventually, the husband went abroad to earn money and stopped contacting his wife. He neither provided emotional support nor sent regular financial help. The mother started working two to three small jobs to survive.

What I want to highlight is that the father had no involvement in his son’s upbringing—neither emotionally nor practically. Financial support alone, especially when insufficient, cannot replace parental presence.

Due to the pressure of single-handed parenting, constant stress, and emotional exhaustion, the mother often lost patience. This affected the child deeply. The child became emotionally withdrawn and insensitive to discipline. He lacked emotional security and struggled with behavioural and social skills. Society judged him, without understanding the emotional neglect behind it.

When a mother herself is emotionally shattered and unsupported, it becomes extremely difficult for her to nurture a child’s emotional well-being. This is not about blaming anyone—it is about understanding how the absence of one parent affects the entire family.

Breaking Cultural Stereotypes Around Fathers

When a father is actively involved in childcare, it positively reflects on a child’s emotional and physical well-being. Children develop respect for both parents and understand that caregiving is not limited to one gender.

They learn emotional balance, kindness, responsibility, and healthy gender roles. Most importantly, they feel emotionally safe.

I often imagine how my son will one day look back at these moments with his father and carry those values forward—becoming a supportive, caring partner and parent himself.

A Note to Fathers Reading This

Your presence matters more than perfection. You don’t need to know everything—you just need to show up. Changing diapers, bathing your child, playing with them, or simply being there builds a bond that lasts a lifetime.

Your child may not remember every toy you bought, but they will remember how safe and loved they felt with you.

Conclusion

Fathers’ involvement in childcare is no longer an exception—it is becoming the new normal. When fathers actively participate in everyday parenting, children thrive, mothers feel supported, and families grow stronger together.

If you believe fathers’ involvement in childcare matters, share this with a dad who needs to hear it.
Let’s normalize shared parenting—one diaper change at a time.

Reference links

https://www.allforkids.org/news/blog/a-fathers-impact-on-child-development/#:~:text=Children%20with%20involved%20fathers%20are,than%20those%20without%20engaged%20dads.