Do kids actually learn from imitation?

Well, today at magrib time, my 8.5-month-old actually did something for the very first time. I wanted him to do this for a very long time, and I will share all the practices I did to let my baby do it. First, I’ll tell you exactly what he did, which made my husband and me so happy. He actually did matam for the very first time on his own. Whether we belong to any religion, a small religious act done by our child is very near and dear to our hearts. Religious practices taught at an early age help shape a child’s character and personality; they also bring inner peace. But this is a topic we can save to discuss for another day. Today, I will share my experience on how my husband and I happened to instil this act of matam in our child.

From the very beginning, I have noticed my son imitating a lot of things (you can read about what he used to do from month one on my website). Everything a child does brings tremendous joy to parents. But sometimes we overlook certain acts that at first look cute and sweet, done by a child, but as they grow, those things become habits we later feel ashamed of. So, what should we do? And from where is my child learning everything? Well, you already know the answer- it’s you and all the people by whom your child is surrounded.

Getting back to the topic I actually want to write about today: how can we as parents instil good things in our children? I will write by considering the recent example of my son, which I mentioned in the beginning. What did we as parents do to help our child do matam on his own?

• ·  Critical point- that if you want your child to learn a practice or do something, then first we as parents have to do it. Thus, as said, my family and I used to do matam at magrib time in front of my baby.
• ·   Then, of course, the second thing we did was we made him do the matam. Oh, and yes, he used to resist a lot when we were making him do something really new to him, so at first he did it like 4 times and started resisting. I would like to mention a crucial point that, whatever it is, never ever force your child. When my baby resisted matam, we would let go of his hands and let him run wherever he wanted to. This way, he gradually came closer to us again and didn’t get pissed off when we made him do this almost every day. 
•  Thirdly, we made him do matam at a specific time, which was magrib time. Of course, we made him do matam in masjid as well, but apart from that, magrib time was fixed.

·       By doing these three steps gradually, my boy adopted it and did his first matam on his own, without me telling him or my assistance.

Now, you may ask, ‘How much time does a child take to learn something?’ For this, I must say it depends on consistency and the fact that every child is unique and learns things at his/her own pace. This is something my boy learned and was actually a good act. Now I will give an example of something he learned by imitation that looks cute, but I fear will not suit him when he gets older.

So when he was 3 months old, he started screaming, and I was at my mom’s place. My mom personally did not want my child to even cry or shout a bit. She wants to nurture a loving upbringing, at least on her side, and of course, told me to do the same. Well, getting back to what I actually want to say is that to stop him from screaming, she used to put her hand on his mouth and lift it several times, which sounded something like—aaa- aaa- aaa- aaa-. I hope you get what I want to convey. Hmm, so this seemed pretty cute at first, plus he actually stopped screaming. At first, I didn’t think much, but later I realised that what we are doing right now with him looks cute at this age, but what about when he gets 2-3 years old and does the same? Thus, I spoke with my mom about this, and she also felt the same. Also, my husband used to do this same thing just because it looked way cuter and was fun for him as well as for us. By the time I realised that we must stop doing this, otherwise he would learn it, but it was already pretty late, as I had seen a few days back that he made this sound by tapping his mouth with his own hands. At this point, I was like Oh my! Now what?

• ·       So, you might have already guessed what we did first. Which is why we stopped doing this whenever he screamed (although to tell you the truth, it looked adorable), but we don’t want to instil this habit, so we stopped doing it.
• ·       Children are very clever, so we can always talk to them about what they are doing is not a suitable thing to do. Of course, they won’t stop doing it immediately, but they will gradually and eventually understand.
• ·       The most important point is to stop giving happy reactions or paying attention. What I actually felt was that my boy understood that doing this action would gain him attention, and thus he learned it. So never laugh or give attention to the inappropriate things kids do.

Well, by following all these steps, I am seeing little improvement in my child.

I wrote this blog today, keeping these two incidents in mind and hope this helps you find the answer to the question- ‘Do children learn from imitation?’

I would love it if you shared your experiences and thoughts on this. Also, if you have any suggestions or tips regarding the same, then do leave them in the comments. Don’t forget to share this with your friends and family. Till then, HAPPY PARENTING!!!